Express Yourself

There were days when I just didn't feel like getting out of my room, didn't feel like interacting with anyone because my life had become so monotonous that I just didn't know what to do next. My days were so gloomy without you, it felt like everything was so lifeless and I had just forgotten how to smile anymore. I didn't know what it felt like to feel everything all over again. The day you came back, you brought everything with you. You brought my love, my kindness, my patience and more importantly you brought yourself back. When you stepped in, I felt like it was so surreal and for a moment I felt like I was just dreaming. Holding your hand and feeling a chill down my spine is the most incredible feeling to me. You make my life a happier one with everyday that passes by irrespective of the situation because your voice is like the medicine that heals everything that was once broken, your smile takes my breath away because damn man! you're the one that I'm cr

The moment when you feel that everything is going right there is a slight fear that things will end badly. There is nothing you can do to stop those feelings and emotions that make you feel so low about yourself. That crippling feeling of not being able to express how feel because you know you will be judged every moment of your life. You can't seem to decide anything in your life just because your mind is going too far to make things more worse for you. Struggling to get through the days without any social interaction and hoping that a few songs can keep you alive. But they just make you more sad about your current situation. How is that suppose to make you feel better? No one in this world can feel the amount of things that build up in your mind only to realize that it's nothing but pure chaos on the inside. The voices keep saying things to you which make you more worthless. You make plans for your future but they simply remain as plans because you don't have the cour

When everyone you thought you knew decides to desert your fight, it makes you feel like you're the only unwanted person left to fight her own battles. Judgemental people who have nothing else to do in their life, end up making you feel worthless piece of crap like all you deserve is pain and suffering. Your self doubt and hopelessness doesn't seem to go away and your mind has gone way too far to decide that it's time to do something that will put an end to this misery. But you should know that I hear your plea, I hear you cry yourself to sleep, I hear you say to yourself that you deserve to be treated like this way and I hear you say that you are done suffering and need peace. I want you to know that I feel every bit of your pain and suffering and I'm going to do all I can to make you feel better about yourself. You are not your thoughts, you are not what people say or think about you. You are who you are and that means you are way better than their senseless taun

The moment when we start having self doubt, we begin to lose our self esteem. Nothing seems right because we don't even know what to do anymore. We can't trust our instincts and keep over thinking the entire time as to why it is happening. It is really my fault? Even if it ain't, we tend to take the blame on ourselves. Keep apologizing for every damn thing you ever did or didn't do. You can't go without apologizing more than twice in a day. It makes you feel really crappy on the inside because you aren't able to express how things have made you feel lately. Is there something really wrong with me? I keep asking myself all the damn time. Validation is nothing but a way of assurance that you understand the other person's feelings. You try to seek validation every now and then just because you don't trust yourself anymore. You need a person who can listen to you without being judgemental. When you're currently in a phase where you are petrified of

The constant need to be around someone is definitely what I'm craving since a very long time. I don't know why I feel like something is missing when I'm all alone. I can't just put into words how it actually makes me feel and I know it won't make sense to anyone of you. I've been battling anxiety since over two years now and now it's on a milder level. There is no way I can get rid of it completely. It has affected my social life pretty badly. Can't be on social media for a long time because when anxiety kicks in the isolation mode turns on. There is this constant heaviness on my chest that I don't seem to get it off me. I have been trying hard to get along with everything but sometimes it's just too hard for me. I don't expect people to understand this side. Yes I want to be around you but I'm afraid of ruining things because I simply can't control them. I swear I don't mean to do it but it's just too much for me to proces

Met you on my first day of college and I never knew that we would be such close friends in the coming days. Days passed by and we grew closer and our bond grew stronger. That was the time when I realised that how much I wanted to have you in my life. You weren't just an ordinary friend or a chick next door who wanted to be popular at any risk. You were pretty much normal and pretty much sane. When I moved from Mumbai, I just didn't find anything good about this city until I joined college and got the opportunity to know you. We hung out, bunked classes and spent time with each other, shared our fears and thoughts, our misery was nothing when we were together and we always had each other's back no matter what. From being close friends we became hoes before bros and I literally enjoyed every aspect of our relationship. You were that little sister that I never had and I was glad that you were there for me in times of trouble. Slowly the days passed by and days turned into m

Waking up everyday and stepping out of the bed has become so stressful and reckoning because when you look outside the window, you realize that it's just another useless day where you have no individuality, no love or kindness either. You try to seek out the love and attention from the ones who mean everything to you but you don't know if it's the right thing to do since the ones who love you are now having a hard time understanding you.You feel like you're trapped in place where you've lost all your freedom and there's no way to escape.  You are petrified because your thoughts are constantly compelling you to give up because no one loves you and no one wants you. No one has time for you, no one needs you. You are a slave to your own thoughts and your emotions are so intense that you just can't express them in a way where people can understand you. You're not at fault, you want to give up but the inner you is fighting hard to stay alive because you k

I still remember that it was night of 2016 and a couple of days had passed after new year when you had messaged me because I was devastated due to my school best friend had made a mess of the friendship. You were the first person that I actually fell in love with, after I moved to this new city I barely knew people. College was my first step to rebuild my inner strength and make new friends, but that one text had completely changed my life. Do you realise how amazing of a human you are? Because trust me, words will fall short to describe how much you mean to me. We have never met personally but our video chats had always been the best. I loved watching you smile and rant about the things you hated. You had personally gone through a rough patch in the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017. It amazes me to watch you battle all your fights with such grace and still having this heart melting smile. I always told you that you give me strength, Revti? I mean it. I only write blogs for mysel