Always Wanting To Be Around Someone

The constant need to be around someone is definitely what I'm craving since a very long time. I don't know why I feel like something is missing when I'm all alone. I can't just put into words how it actually makes me feel and I know it won't make sense to anyone of you.

I've been battling anxiety since over two years now and now it's on a milder level. There is no way I can get rid of it completely. It has affected my social life pretty badly. Can't be on social media for a long time because when anxiety kicks in the isolation mode turns on.

There is this constant heaviness on my chest that I don't seem to get it off me. I have been trying hard to get along with everything but sometimes it's just too hard for me. I don't expect people to understand this side.

Yes I want to be around you but I'm afraid of ruining things because I simply can't control them. I swear I don't mean to do it but it's just too much for me to process it. I know I seem to be lost around you when you're trying to talk to me and I'm unable to respond that very minute.

I know I need constant assurance that it's going to be fine and things will be better but at times I can't seem to believe that. I can't believe that a part of me is simply lost and is nowhere to be found.

I know I haven't been talking much to any of you lately and I'm sorry for that. It's just too much to take, I feel like I can't make it to the other end. You people have been simply amazing to me and I'm glad to have you in my life.

Don't be mad at me for not being able to talk to you openly about this. I just didn't feel like it was okay to do it.

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